Tending: A Friendship Skill

Grandma Betty grew everything she wanted.

My grandma was an extremely talented cook, quilter, gardener, and keeper of friends. I also enjoy gardening and now realize just how much talent and skill she had to keep flowers, trees, and vegetables growing in the rocky clay soils in Southern Missouri. What made Grandma Odle a great gardener was not natural talent or even skills.

She was a great gardener because she was constantly tending her plants.

On summer mornings she was out early with her big hat, gloves, and tools kneeling among the plants. Weeding, getting leaves out of the mud, watering during dry spells, killing bugs, transplanting, sniping away diseased branches, cutting flowers, picking the harvest, fertilizing, and staking plants were her simple actions that made amazing flowers. Grandma knew tending her garden meant giving the right type of attention at the right time for each type of plant.

How do we tend our friendships?

We have several choices. Not every plant requires the same type of attention and care. Neither do our friends. They are unique and need to be tended in their own way. Think about how you are tending to your friends…and how much fruit your friendship is producing.

• Spend a lot of attention then let it go for a while.

• Give small amounts of yourself more frequently.

• Your prickly might need just a small amount of sand and water like a cactus.

• Some plants need more water than fertilizer and others need more trimming and pruning. Are you giving the right attention to your friend?

Tending your friend requires you to know him well and give yourself to help him grow into the man he can be.