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- Opening Up Man to Man
First—We are back to a regular schedule of Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I needed some time off for a group of visitors from the USA to view our work here in Ghana.
Second—I shared a struggle with a friend this week and he shared one in return. My friend is easy to trust and I waited for a quiet car ride when I told him details about my struggle with getting medicine balanced during the last six months. He accepted my struggle and shared one also.
Opening up was easy because we have a good friendship.
Guys, we make it far too hard and overcomplicate transparency, intimacy, openness, and other interpersonal factors. We know it is easy to open our mouths. In fact, we fear opening our mouths and saying too much for most of our lives. We know what needs to be said to clear our minds and release our emotional burdens.
No, it is hard to open up because of trust, not because it is a mystery.
The lack of trust comes from all directions. We don’t trust ourselves. We can’t trust other people because of what someone did to us in the past. We don’t trust enough people with the right information. We can’t trust the timing of saying something or saying it in the right way.
Fears keep us from trust. Trust keeps us from healthy sharing.
Fear and trust are torn down and built up with practical effort. Any guy thinking, “One day, I’m going to talk to my buddy about _______________,” is living a dream in his own mind. Just like any other action step or goal, we build trust in practical terms.
Practical Steps To Open Up
Pick something share
Pick a guy friend to talk with
Evaluate how much you need and want to share with this friend
Rehearse how you will say your hard thing to your buddy
Pick a time and place to talk with your friend
Speak up and share your hard conversation
Listen to your friend respond (harder than it sounds—be ready for good things to come from your friend)
Say thank you and recover!