- Men's Friendship Factor Newsletter
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- šŖ Interruption vs. Opening
You are in the middle of a project and someone knocks on the door. What thoughts and feelings race through your mind and gut?
Yes, it depends on many factors. Sleep, the type of project, time of day, hanger, and 1,000 other things affect our moods, attitudes, and thinking. When I start my tax preparation or finance reports, Iām happy to be distracted for just a few more minutes. When I get into it I donāt want to lose my train of thought and can be, um, snappy? with people.
Maturity helps us to know our default modes and increase our threshold for interruptions.
We naturally learn what pushes our buttons. In fact, friends who push a button sometimes just to make us mad, give us an opportunity to forgive and grow. Tools like DISC, Meyers-Briggs, and other personality tests can help us know our tendencies and how to build our character.
Our response also has to do with the interruption/opening knocking on our door.
Iām much happier to receive a box of Girl Scout Cookies someone bought for me and had delivered to my door than meeting an IRS auditor. Some friends are worth more interruptions than others.
And that brings us to the point: How do we choose to look at a friend knocking on the door or calling in the middle of a hectic season? Here are a few things to consider (and Iām sure you have more).
Type of friendāIs he a best friend, friend, or acquaintance?
Timing of interruptionāWhat is happening in your life right now?
Threat to your friend and othersāIs there an immediate, moderate, and/or long-term physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or other hazard facing your friend?
Healthy boundariesāDo you and your friend have normal healthy boundaries? How does your response grow intimacy? How does it breach your normal way of relating?
Take 2 minutes to reflect on close friends and others you want to deepen your friendships and plan for an āinterruptionā to become an āOpeningā to a better life.