When Hurting Helps

“How much longer ‘till we get there?”

Forget the kids saying that to you. Remember when you were so bored on road trips that you whined at your parents and fought with your siblings?

My family made the two-hour drive from our house to my grandparents almost every weekend during the summers. Two hours in the back seat with my younger sister and brother every week was tedious suffering. My sister was especially bad at asking how much further it was when were traveled in the dark on Sunday nights.

😇 I’m sure it was here complaining and not me. 😇

All suffering feels pointless.

Every unfair accusation, accident, health disaster, failure, pain, and betrayal threaten to empty our mental, emotional, and relationship reserves with no hope of refilling. Bad things happen to everyone. We can choose to view our hurts as random occurances leaving asking, “How much longer?” until it quits hurting.

Or we can use our hurts for our friend’s help.

I’m not suggesting that you need to ooze stories, lessons, or insights upon your friends. No, there are levels of accepting our hurts and integrating suffering into our lives that can help our friends. You have things to share with your friends.

• A good lesson you learned coping with a current problem

• Strategies used to get through a bad situation two years ago

• Root causes of a relationship disaster you experienced four years ago

• Life lessons you put into your life when you recovered from an accident five years ago

• Great questions you found reflecting on a work disaster 10 years ago

Funny thing about that drive from Brookline to Houston. No matter how many pit stops, scuffles, and whining moments we had as kids we always arrived at our destination.

Your hurts won’t last forever. When you get to the other side and arrive at your destination let others know what you learned from that difficult journey.

Friends share their own hurts to help their friends.